An Open Letter to my Spin Instructor

Hello, it’s me, the girl wheezing on her bike, sweating like a virign at a prison rodeo.

Please, I beg you, enough with the 45 straight minutes of Linkin Park. And the cool down to “Arms Wide Open” by Creed? What, was Hitler’s 1939 speech against the Jews not available for purchase on iTunes? Because I’d rather listen to that.

       

Spinning is bad enough. Your music is making it impossibly worse. Next time just put a scorpion in my water bottle. Same effect.